How to heal our stressed mom hearts
Hey momma, I see you buried under the weight of your responsibilities, insecurities, and overwhelm.
Your stressed mom heart feels on the verge of imploding, and yet, you shove it all down because there’s life to be lived and kiddos to tend to.
And so, we slog on.
Digging in our roots to surrendered hopes of stilling the chaos long enough to mend our broken hearts.
But what if being a holy and present momma could co-exist right along with our brokenness?
What if the immense pressure of choosing between who we are and who we want to be could be satisfied all at once?
Our sanctification in Christ holds space for both our stress and brokenness in motherhood!
The lie of the super mom
If you’re overwhelmed by motherhood today, you’re not alone.
And if we had 3 seconds to spare at any given moment, maybe we’d arrive at the conclusion that our stress is rooted by one thing, and one thing only!
Expectations
Whether they’re put on us from outside sources, or we’re crumbling under the weight of our own self-demise, expectations are rooted in the desire to be a super mom!
What is a super mom, you ask?
She’s the inner expectations you hold for yourself at any given moment.
She:
- Prides herself in multitasking, shuttle bus transports, and balancing the emotions of all her people.
- Never complains about her blessings because she figures she could always have it worse.
- Serves everyone else their meals first; she sits down last and is know to get up first to tend to refills and seconds.
Any of these “rules” sound familiar, friend?
Dismantling the super mom culture starts with surrendering our idol of holding fast to these fiercely ridged expectations.
If we don’t, we will forever subject ourselves to the battles of guilt, shame, frustration, numbness and anger as we mother our kiddos.
Overcoming motherhood stress
Thankfully, we don’t have to be a stressed out mom.
Nor do we need to be a perfect mom—praise the good Lord—and our kids don’t want perfect mommas anyways.
Sometimes we forget that the very people God asks us to seek and save are those who are under our own roofs.
Our kids don’t relate to our perfection.
How could they when they’re interacting with an imperfect world while trying to grow gracefully in obedience?
One way to avoid being a stressed mom is to embrace being an imperfect one.
When we let go of our desires to get it all right, we create margin for sanctification through Christ.
The stress we experience in motherhood is real, and the brokenness that follows can be disheartening.
Even still, our hope can always be found in the only One capable of turning our mess into a testament of growth!
Another way to forfeit stress in mommahood is to tighten up your calendar and responsibilities.
Jamming our schedules is a sure fire way to evoke stress for our already overwhelmed hearts.
Create margin by:
- Keeping first things first—prioritize your family time
- Cancel or say no to anything that adds to your plate—seasons change, don’t feel pressured to do it all right now
- Delegate—your kiddos can help with chores (seriously, put them to work)
- Honoring a rhythm for Sabbath
Combating anger in motherhood
If you’re like me, unchecked stress in motherhood leads to a contentious vat full of anger.
And it’s not anger to the point of rage, but it’s a deep irritability at the state of those ever-present, unmet expectations:
- We didn’t wake up in time
- Our quiet time was interrupted
- We’ve forgotten who we are outside of motherhood
- We’re desperate for sleep, an uninterrupted meal, a home free from bickering
- And on and on the list goes…
As our unresolved stress increases, so does our potential for our unchecked anger.
As we begin to dismantle our super mom complex, we have opportunity to lean into new rhythms of awareness and healing.
For anger in the moment, it’s important to step away—into the hallway, into your room, into a space away from your kiddos.
Why?
Because there is nothing productive that takes place after our anger is ignited.
Our time away is a perfect opportunity to demolish our stronghold by bringing it before the Lord.
Pause. Pray. Release. Repeat.
For anger withstanding time, one word: motive.
When our anger is building, and we feel the tensions rising, we must assess the motives of our heart.
Could it be:
- we’re sleep deprived?
- we’re clinging to unforgiveness against our kids?
- our expectations are too lofty?
- we want to be justified, affirmed, or validated?
The power of accepting brokenness in motherhood
Whether we’re angry, stressed, overwhelmed, or combating unrealistic expectations, motherhood can quickly become a source of despair.
But, because we were sanctified once and for all by the blood of the Lamb, we have renewed hope!
Momma, we don’t have to be healed to be holy.
In fact, it’s our brokenness that yields our holiness—for Christ enters into our mess to restore the broken parts of motherhood!
Once and for all.
Resources for the stressed mom
- For those moments when you need a 5 minute timeout to re-center your heart on Jesus amidst the crazy
- For those chaotic moments in the car when you need to quickly release stress (pro-tip, share with your kiddos for a calmer ride overall)
- For the momma who needs to treat herself, because let’s be honest, some days we just need to be seen and poured into
Monet is a wife, mom, writer and entrepreneur, living the messy, unspoken parts of life openly and imperfectly.
With the help of coffee and courage, Monet helps women live purposed and embrace wholeness, despite that pesky thing we call brokenness.
After enduring her own seasons of hardship and loss, Monet launched Purposed Box, a monthly subscription box helping the everyday woman encounter Jesus in her every day!
Monet’s kinda a fan of IG, so follow along with her here.
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