Am I Oversharing?: Navigating Loneliness In the Church Without Being an Oversharer
The Importance of Safe Sharing in a Church Community (or Any for That Matter)
In the shared space of a church community, unburdening our hearts about loneliness fosters a unique fellowship, but doing so comes with the risk of oversharing.
How do we know where the line is? Even more, how do we protect ourselves from further hurt when we’re emotionally vulnerable?
It’s here, amidst spiritual healing and emotional intelligence where the courage to be vulnerable transforms isolation into a collective journey of healing.
As we seek moments of being responsible sharers, we can learn to dance the delicate line of oversharing, seeking that sacred balance that cements trust in a community without losing our personal sanctuary.
Finding the Right Balance: Utilizing Emotional Intelligence to Prevent Oversharing
In our journey towards emotional intelligence and spiritual healing, finding that sweet spot between sharing feelings and oversharing in our church community is crucial.
What Does the Bible Say About Oversharing?
- Proverbs 21:23: Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
- Proverbs 13:3: ‘ Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. ‘
- James 3:3-5: If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ‘
According to these scriptures, how should we practice transparency without being an oversharer?
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Well, friend, it’s a delicate dance of emotional vulnerability and boundary-setting, where every step forward in sharing builds trust and deepens emotional intimacy without compromising confidentiality or respect.
It’s about nurturing a safe space for genuine support from the Body, and where the soul feels heard but not exposed.
Steps to Approach Safe Sharing in Your Church Community
- Begin with a moment of self-reflection, exploring your own emotional vulnerability and understanding your comfort level.
- Identify a supportive individual or a group in your church community where trust and empathy prevail (this is done by noticing their character over long periods of time; Matthew 7:15-20).
- Engage in discussions, sharing your experiences and feelings while respecting your own boundaries for healthy sharing.
Creating a Supportive Environment for Everyone
In our journey toward spiritual healing, our church leadership and community members hold a sacred role in weaving a tapestry of trust and empathy.
By nurturing biblically sound support groups and offering pastoral care, they lay the foundations for a sanctuary where our souls can undress their burdens without fear of oversharing.
Encouraging Empathy and Confidentiality
In our journey of sharing feelings within the church community, fostering empathy and assuring confidentiality are the bedrocks of trust and mutual respect.
As both members and leaders, let’s actively nurture these attributes, ensuring our fellowship becomes a sanctuary for spiritual support and emotional well-being, where every shared word contributes to our collective healing and spiritual growth.
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Recap: Transparency vs. Oversharing
In the sacred spaces of church community and fellowship, it’s a delicate dance of sharing feelings and safeguarding our emotional well-being.
Practicing Transparency and Emotional Vulnerability
- Start small with sharing. Instead of “I’m fine”, practice being honest about your day/circumstances
- Swap the pat answer for: “today’s been a hard day…”; “I’m struggling with anxious thoughts at the moment…”; “I’m walking through a betrayal and it hurts”; etc.
- Are you sharing to vent, or sharing to heal?
- We’re all human and sometimes, venting is our way to release the enormous weight of carrying all the injustice and brokenness solo.
- The good news is, God is more than able to withstand our human rants.
- Food for thought: If we’re unwilling to vent to God first, we might be seeking an affirming gossip sesh over spiritual healing. Just saying…
- Integrity is our safeguard against oversharing, not only for ourselves but for others involved in our brokenness.
- Spiritual healing results from the courage to admit what’s really going on, while remaining rooted in the Word and sanctified by the Spirit.
- In other words, growing in spiritual wellness cannot happen apart from God. And true healing isn’t built off the backs of selfish endeavors or slandering others.
- Practicing discernment in sharing guards our hearts by keeping our motives pure. Even more, it allows God to pay back wrong for wrong against those who’ve been unjust toward us. Cause I promise you, no unjust act goes unnoticed by the God of angel armies!
Praying the Scriptures to Gaurd My Heart Against Oversharing
‘Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.’
Romans 12:16-21
About Monet
Monet is a wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur, living the messy, unspoken parts of life openly and imperfectly.
With the help of coffee and courage, Monet helps women live purposed and embrace wholeness despite brokenness. After enduring her own seasons of hardship and grief, Monet launched Purposed Box, a monthly subscription box helping the everyday woman encounter Jesus in her every day.
