Am I Waiting on God, or Just Avoiding It? (The Honest Fear-vs-Trust Test)

Can I ask you something kind of personal? That thing you keep saying you’re “praying about.” Are you actually praying about it, or have you just filed it under prayer so you don’t have to look at it?

Oof. I know. I asked myself the same thing last week and I didn’t love the answer.

Because here’s the sneaky part. Faithful waiting and plain old avoiding can look exactly the same from the outside. Both of them involve not doing the thing. Both of them can be explained with very spiritual words. The difference isn’t in what other people see. It’s in what’s running underneath, and only you (and God) can see that part.

So let’s look at it together, gently. Not to catch you being bad. Just to get honest, because honest is where the peace actually is.

The two kinds of “not yet” feel completely different

Think about the difference between a dentist appointment you’ve scheduled and one you keep “meaning to” make.

The scheduled one, you can rest. It’s handled. It’s coming. You’re not dreading it in the background of every day.

The one you keep not making, that one sits on you. Every time you remember it, your stomach does a little dip. You change the subject in your own head. That’s not peace. That’s avoidance wearing a very reasonable “I’ve been so busy” outfit.

Faithful waiting is the scheduled kind. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart” is a settled, steady posture. Avoidance is the dreaded kind. Same “not yet” on the surface. Totally different engine underneath.

The honest fear-vs-trust test

Four questions. You don’t need a quiet weekend or a perfect prayer life. You can do this one in the pickup line with the AC on.

1. Is there a next step I already know to take?

Start here, because it clears up more fog than anything else. Not the whole plan. Just the next stair on the staircase.

If you already know you need to make the call, have the hard conversation, send the email, say sorry, go to the doctor, look at the bank account, then friend, this was never really a waiting question. Faith without works is dead, James says. Sometimes “I’m still praying about it” is completely true. And sometimes it’s the polite Christian way to say “I don’t want to do the thing I already know I need to do.” Both are real. You know which one this is.

2. What’s underneath the pause, peace or dread?

This one you feel more than figure out. Sit with the thing for a second and notice your body.

Faithful waiting has a strange steadiness, even when it’s hard. There’s an ache, sure, but there’s also a floor under you. Avoidance has that pit-in-the-stomach hum. The “if I don’t look at it, maybe it’ll disappear” feeling. Fear waits so it won’t have to risk anything. Faith waits so it won’t run ahead of God. Same stillness. Opposite insides.

3. If I’m honest, what am I afraid will happen if I move?

This is the one that cracks it open. Avoidance almost always has a specific fear hiding behind the holy language.

Afraid the answer will be no. Afraid you’ll look foolish. Afraid it’ll be hard and you’ll have to feel something. Afraid of the conflict, the bill, the diagnosis, the rejection. Name it out loud if you can. Not because naming it makes it go away, but because fear loses a lot of its grip the second you stop pretending it’s patience.

And here’s the kind part. Cast all your anxiety on him, Peter says, “because he cares for you.” You don’t have to muscle the fear down. You just have to hand it over and take the step anyway.

4. Am I at rest, or am I hiding?

Rest and hiding can look identical from the couch. One is Sabbath. The other is a bunker.

Rest leaves you feeling lighter and more open to God. Hiding leaves you feeling smaller and more tangled, because the thing you’re dodging is still there, just quieter. Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Real rest runs TOWARD Him with the heavy thing. Hiding runs away from the thing and calls it peace.

If it turns out you’ve been avoiding, read this part slowly

Okay. Say you did the test and the answer stung a little. You’ve been avoiding.

Please hear me. That’s not a character flaw, that’s being a human with a tender heart and a real fear. Every single person reading this has dressed up avoidance in spiritual clothes at some point. Me, loudly, more than once.

The move now isn’t shame. Shame just sends you deeper into the bunker. The move is one small, honest step toward the thing. Make the appointment. Open the app. Send the one-line text. You don’t have to solve the whole mountain today. You just have to stop pretending you don’t see it.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” That trust isn’t “sit still forever.” It’s “you can take the scary step because I’ve got the part you can’t see.”

And if it turns out you really are waiting? Rest easy.

Sometimes you run the test and the answer is clean. There’s no next step you’re dodging. There’s no fear humming underneath. You’ve done what you can and now it’s genuinely in God’s hands and you’re at rest.

If that’s you, then stop letting a guilty little voice tell you you’re being lazy. That steady, open-handed trust is not laziness. It’s one of the bravest things a tired heart can do. Keep watching for Him like the morning. It comes.

This piece lives inside a bigger one, if you want the whole map: Waiting on God: When to Be Still and When to Act. And these two walk with this one closely: Striving vs. Surrender and How to Discern God’s Will.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if I’m waiting on God or just procrastinating?

Check two things. First, is there a next step you already know to take but keep not taking? If yes, it’s probably not a waiting question, it’s an obedience one. Second, what’s underneath the pause? Faithful waiting feels like settled trust. Procrastination has fear or dread humming under it. If both of those point to avoidance, that’s your answer, and it’s a kind one, not a condemning one.

Isn’t it more spiritual to just wait and not force things?

Not always. Biblical waiting is active, not passive. Nehemiah prayed and posted a guard at the same time. “Waiting” becomes unspiritual the moment it’s really a way to dodge something God has already made clear. The question isn’t waiting versus doing. It’s whether your stillness is trust or avoidance.

What if I’m scared to take the step and I move too soon?

God isn’t setting a trap where one nervous step ruins everything. If you’ve honestly asked Him, taken the next clear thing, and kept your hands open, He’s more than able to redirect you. A willing, imperfect heart is something He works with beautifully. Fear of moving too soon is usually just fear wearing a responsible-looking coat.

How do I stop using “I’m praying about it” as an excuse?

Get specific and get honest. Name the actual fear hiding behind the phrase, out loud if you can. Then take one small real step toward the thing today, not the whole thing, just the next stair. Prayer and action were never meant to be enemies. Pray about it AND make the call. That’s what praying about it is supposed to look like.

Related guides: Waiting on God: When to Be Still and When to Act and Trusting God in Hard Times.